Kisses at the coffee shop
by flyin'rabbit
Summary: Singing isn't Rachel's only forte. She's also good at math and scheming. Both things come in very handy when she plots to show Kurt just how selfless she can be. Set at the end of BIOTA.


**A/N**: Yeah, not sure where this came from. Or if it makes sense. Or... anyway, I like the Kurt/Rachel friendship so I like (to read/write) stories in which they're actually a bit nicer to one another. This one is set at the end of BIOTA (the coffee shop scene), but it's a little... different. Rachel also ships Klaine here :P Oh, and this is a _one-shot_, at least for now :)

I hope I managed to capture Rachel's voice in this in a somewhat believable way, and hopefully, you'll enjoy the story!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Glee_.

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><p>Rachel tried not to listen to herself (for once) as she told Kurt that absolutely nobody cared about him – because she knew for a fact that that was untrue, as she was about to prove to him. She cared, and she knew that his family and probably two entire Glee clubs cared about him as well.<p>

She felt bad for him, honestly. At first, she'd been amazed at how great a kisser Blaine was and what a lovely person he was. During the date, which _was_ pretty incredible, there was one thing obviously missing: chemistry. She had been put off by this, but figured that it was, most likely, him. She herself had been perfect, if she said so herself. But there was no attraction anymore.

But she couldn't simply tell Kurt that, right? Oh – she could, she was well aware of that. However, after she'd come up with a _brilliant_ plan (and Kurt had, unknowingly, played along perfectly so far; plus, she was grateful about the fact that he seemed to remain so calm. She knew she wouldn't have been, if the roles were reversed), she just couldn't .

See, Rachel Berry was not stupid. At all. She knew a good match when she saw one.

Sometimes.

There were always exceptions.

Either way, Rachel had known for months (ever since seeing them together at Sectionals) that Kurt and Blaine were such a perfect match. And yes, she may have forgotten about that for a few days, but she knew, once more, that Kurt had a thing for Blaine and Blaine… well, he must have a thing for Kurt as well. Because Blaine was definitely gay, and in a fit of confusion, he'd gone on a date with _her_. Rachel. Kurt's female clone, or something naturally impossible like that.

So, it was obvious that he liked Kurt.

He was just too oblivious to work it out himself.

Well, luckily for him, Rachel Berry was about to lend the two of them a hand. Kurt was, after all, not only her greatest rival, but also pretty much her only friend. Which automatically made him her best friend. Which meant that Rachel could, in this case, _be_ self-absorbed without _appearing_ self-absorbed. See, if Kurt was angry at her like he probably was right now, he wouldn't consider her his friend. If she did something seemingly selfless to help him, he would like her more, thus making their friendship stronger and ensuring that she _did_ have a friend.

Plus, if her plan would succeed today, Blaine would become The Boyfriend. Now, he was still one of Kurt's best friends. If he became The Boyfriend, Mercedes would be Kurt's only best friend, and well, while it would be virtually impossible to have three best friends, two best friends were perfectly acceptable, and Rachel would rightfully earn that spot if she managed to pull this off.

(She'd just ignore the fact that Kurt might have tons of other friends at Dalton, that he and Finn were possibly growing closer too (but they were brothers. Stepbrothers, but still. That meant Finn couldn't become one of Kurt's best friends, as they were already brothers. It was the same thing as Blaine not being able to be the best friend and The Boyfriend at the same time, at least in Rachel's mind), and she also would have to keep an eye on… well, all the other New Directions girls. But she was ready to fight them all to become one of Kurt's best friends.)

"There he is," Kurt interrupted her thinking process, and also her rant – not that she knew what that was about exactly, anyway. "Dreamy as ever."

Yes, Rachel could see the appeal. And if she were to ever find a straight copy of Blaine, she'd latch onto him like a parasite and never let go, she'd already promised herself that. Now, though, it was time to set her plan in motion.

She smiled sweetly at Kurt and said, "Well, come on. What are we waiting for?"

She stood up, but Kurt looked at her non-understandingly. "'We', Rachel?" he asked sceptically. "Please don't tell me you want me to see that kiss up close – I already witnessed that at your party, thank you very much."

Before he could complain anymore, Rachel already hoisted him up and dragged him over. She was sure that, if he hadn't been so shocked, he would've easily escaped from her grip, but now, he was merely protesting quietly.

Oh, right. He and Blaine had also had a fight earlier that week. Well. Time for them to sort things out, then.

Blaine saw them before they'd reached them, and blinked, clearly not expecting to see them both here. Together.

"Hey, Rachel… _Kurt_… what's going on?"

Before Kurt could respond, Rachel already pressed her lips against Blaine's, still holding onto Kurt's arm as well. When she pulled away, Kurt was pointedly looking the other way, pressing his lips tightly together.

Blaine made a noise of surprise, and before Rachel realised it, he added, "Yep. I'm gay."

(Like she hadn't realised _that_ before. She had two gay dads, remember?)

Fortunately, that caught Kurt's attention, and his head snapped back towards them. Smirking inwardly, Rachel tugged him slightly, so he would be standing at the perfect angle –

"Really now?" she asked, pretending to be shocked. "Well, _I_ think you'd better make sure of that."

With that, she practically shoved Kurt towards Blaine (given his history with being shoved around, she wondered what she'd been thinking when coming up with _that_ part of her plan) and –

Well, would you look at that.

Among many, many other things, Rachel excelled in math. So after a night of scheming and figuring out stuff like these boys' heights, she knew exactly how to place them and how hard to shove Kurt in order to get those two to lock lips.

Just like they were doing right now.

Grinning widely, she slid back to their table, grabbed her coffee, and wandered past the pair of boys, who were now staring at each other incredulously, very likely unable to believe that _that _had just happened.

"My work is done here," Rachel muttered to herself, stepping out of the coffee shop. Hopefully, this would get her to be remembered as the person who _finally_ got the two of them together. She knew for a fact that many had been competing for that title – and now, it would be hers.

Sometimes it was good to be this selfless.

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><p><strong>AN**: When the idea first came to me, I wanted Rachel to shove Kurt forward as soon as they reached Blaine. However, whether Blaine was gay or bi, he'd be attracted to boys, right? So Rachel would have to kiss him in order to find out if he was gay or bi. At least, that's my logic. I apologise if that somehow isn't correct, and I definitely don't want to offend someone with it.

Anyway, did you like it? :) Let me know what you think, please leave a review!


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